one week

I was talking with a dear friend of mine, also an adoptive mom, and she reminded me that when she brought her child home at 6 months I reminded her regularly that she couldn’t look at life like she had a 6 month old, she had to look her days based on how long Evelyn had been in the family.  I think that was pretty good advice – and good to be reminded of now that I am in the middle of the scene.   I can’t base our adjustment on life with a 2 ½ year old; I have to think about life with a one-week old.  Now that is a whole different ballgame.  And makes me feel so much better!  The truth is that we are a family with a brand new baby.  So for those of you who haven’t been in the new-baby world for a while, let me remind you…

            *4 hours of continuous sleep is considered a gift from God

            *pajamas are the clothing of choice

            *crying is the primary method of communication – depending on the day, this may include mom as well

            *personal hygiene is reminiscent of ancient Rome

            *walking aimlessly around, standing in awe of the mess, is standard behavior

            *survival is the name of the game – just make it another day


So, I think we are right where we should be.  The past two nights I have been able to put Lydia to bed and walk out of the room – a huge step forward for her and a welcome respite for me.  I was getting weary of having to campout until she went to sleep.  And last night she was up only once and that was quickly remedied with a touch and a kiss.  Today, Eric’s day off, I was able to de-junk all the kids’ rooms (how do they get all of that stuff in there?), clean out the playroom, balance the checkbook (ugh.) and get several more things done on the to-do list.  Accomplishment!  Lydia is definitely getting more comfortable but generally one of us has to be available to her.  Even if she plays for 10 minutes by herself she has a need to connect with us on a regular basis.  She will drop what she is doing and begin crying until she finds us – sometimes the crying is easily consoled, other times not.  So it really prohibits me from doing anything unless someone else is around.  Needless to say, this task-mama was thrilled to get some things done today.  I feel a little more like a real human being.  Haven’t hit the shower yet, but plan to…


We did take the kids swimming this afternoon – first time for Lyds.  She was understandably timid but after the first hour she was getting the hang of it.  I continued to be intrigued by her personality.  The funny thing about adopting a toddler is that their personality is there, alive and well.  But it has to be discovered.  There are glimpses of her every now and then that I think are more her true self but at this stage, they are few and far between.  For the most part, she is very clingy and timid, easily upset and very quiet.  However, in those few moments she is this very happy child with tons of energy, super confident, happy to be here kid, so completely different.  I think that is probably who Lydia truly is, behind the grief and sadness that she is experiencing.  And who can blame her – I have to remind myself when I am at my wit’s end with her crying – that she has been torn from everything and has been immersed in a world that is so completely different.  If that had happened to my little Micah it would take him months to recover, and I would expect the same with sweet Lydia.  It will be fun (exhausting…) to discover who she is beyond the transition.  Let’s just say I am looking forward to December.


Tomorrow I am on my own again!  Aahh!!  I have to simply remind myself that NOTHING gets done beyond breakfast, clean up, lunch, clean up, dinner, clean up, bed.  And the clean up is only a possibility.  It is highly likely that breakfast dishes will still be on the counter come dinnertime.  It’s okay, it’s just a phase, this too shall pass, I will recover…what day is it?



Jes said...

We missed you tonight, boss. After 3rd service, Eric was commenting on Chase's cuteness and said, "He and Micah will have great mug shots someday." We probably need to add Lydia's name to the list. She strikes me as an independent soul. She'll be ignoring you before you know it. Besides, somebody has to be the brains of the operation...enjoy her while you are all she needs.

Kelly said...

paper plates? for the transition? make the kids pitch 'em? maybe...