I am stunned at this evening's events. I have been feeling less and less excited about Lydia. Not knowing whether my dwindling excitement was a realization of reality and the hugeness of the idea of whether it was merely me coming back and realizing this was all something I concocted, not of the Lord. So I have again been actively praying for God's leading. I opened up my Bible study tonight and the first verse to read, before any study, is Romans 15:13.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

That's it! I had lost hope. I had come to believe this dream of Lydia was never going to happen. I had lost sight of God's direction and his hope. So I am praying for joy and peace as we hope for our little girl.

So then I began to study the story of Abraham's servant going to retrieve a wife for Isaac. The servant prayed for God to show him the one and asked for a ridiculous sign - she would ask to feed his camels. 250 gallons of water! I couldn't help but think about us going to get Lydia and asking for $25,000. RIDICULOUS! But God provided ans was so dear. And then when the servant proposes the idea to the father and brother they simply say, "This is from the Lord. We can say nothing to you." I feel like that is where we are.God has been making it clear and has promised to provide. It is a ridiculous request and a hard journey - just as it was for Rebekah to leave her home. But when God moves so dramatically there is no arguing. And so I am again excited at the plan God has for us. I truly believe it includes a little girl named Lydia and I believe God is going to make it clear as the time draws near.

Thank you God for your hope. Please fill me with peace and joy. Give me an overflowing hope.