thankful, part II

and to finish our list of 60...

• i am thankful for mrs. whaley's english classes who have prayed faithfully over the last few months
• i am thankful for a dad who has thoroughly embraced our crazy adoption adventures (after a bit of a pause...)
• i am thankful for little tiny rocking chairs for little tiny girls
• i am thankful for pajama pants
• i am thankful for a person in florida who i have never met who sent us a check
• i am thankful for a loving birthmother who placed sarahjoy in a safe place before saying goodbye forever
• i am thankful that i can walk in the room and sarahjoy instantly stops crying
• i am thankful for chili's  (english classes...why is there an apostrophe there?)
• i am thankful for a heart that kept going despite being twice its normal size and completely overworked
• i am thankful for xrays so we know what's going on in her lungs
• i am thankful for pizza gift cards
• i am thankful for people who i meet for lunch and hand me money
• i am thankful for a one pound weight gain in one week! (for sarahjoy that is, not me, although i'm running a close second...)
• i am thankful for antibiotics
• i am thankful for great friends who invite themselves over for dinner
• i am thankful for hot showers
• i am thankful for college kids who love our family and babysit for free over spring break
• i am thankful for sarahjoy's cries, even if they do last for way too long at naptime
• i am thankful for disposable diapers
• i am thankful for full nights of sleep (what are those again?)
• i am thankful for consignment stores that give me money to pad my clothing budget
• i am thankful for weekends
• i am thankful for PBS kids
• i am thankful for sweet tea
• i am thankful for PICUS and IV's and breathing monitors
• i am thankful for family reunions 
• i am thankful for a praying, God-fearing Mimi who has lived to see an enormous return on her investments in her children
• i am thankful for two little twin sisters of Makiah that fill their mom and dad's arms again
• i am thankful for josiah, annaclaire, micah, lydia and sarahjoy for being the cutest and most amazing kids any mom could ask for 
• i am thankful for eric who hands down is the best father and husband a woman could ever imagine

missing our little itsy...a new family pic is coming soon!  but dang aren't those kids the cutest!

thankful

so many things about sarahjoy's journey are reasons to be thankful and proclaim God's faithfulness.  in honor of the 60 days she has been with us here are 30 things i am thankful for (people, i cannot think of 60 good ones tonight, operating on about 4 hours of sleep!)

• i am thankful for God pricking our hearts for adoption.  
• i am thankful for God providing every penny for us to travel to china.  
• i am thankful for a brood of loving children who have embraced their new little sister like she has been here forever.  
• i am thankful for friends who have been spoiling us with delicious meals.
• i am thankful for a pediatrician who noticed the need to get us to a cardiologist.
• i am thankful for an amazing surgeon who i think would take sarahjoy home if he could.
• i am thankful for a children's hospital that is literally 20 minutes from my door.
• i am thankful for nurses and doctors who don't freak out when a child quits breathing.
• i am thankful for a mother in law who went above and beyond in caring for our kids for three weeks.
• i am thankful for a husband who has set aside getting to work early and instead has been going in a bit later in order to get the kids breakfast every morning.
• i am thankful for naps.
• i am thankful for a little girl who loves to kiss me and give me hugs, even though she's only known me for 2 months.
• i am thankful for a mom who could be beside me during the most harrowing 30 minutes of my life.
• i am thankful for a comfortable home and plenty of stuff to make life easy.
• i am thankful for the multitude of people who gave sacrificially to bring our little girl home.
• i am thankful for china who allows us to adopt their precious princesses.
• i am thankful for a church family who has prayed faithfully for sarahjoy and loves her to death when she walks in the door.
• i am thankful for health insurance.
• i am thankful for a government that allows me to heat my home if i so choose (which i do, to a nice comfy 70 degrees)
• i am thankful for warm cozy blankets to snuggle with while i'm laying on the floor of sarahjoy's room.
• i am thankful for a little girl who loves to nestle right up to me when we're in bed together (which currently is way too often, but i'll still be thankful.)
• i am thankful for the family who has lent us their car for the past few weeks while my mother in law was here.
• i am thankful for our adoption agency who provided a seamless adoption process.
• i am thankful for president obama and his new laws about adoption expenses and tax refunds.
• i am thankful for completely unexpected gifts towards sarahjoy's medical expenses.
• i am thankful for babygap gift cards so sarahjoy can at least have a couple of things to call her own.
• i am thankful for husbands who love me in spite of an ever increasing waistline thanks to a plethora of stress lately.
• i am thankful for cameron and rachel who allowed us to name our little one sarahjoy makiah so we can always remember that little blond angel.
• i am thankful for people who gave us change from their piggy bank and people who gave us $10,000 and every one in between.
• i am thankful for sarahjoy.

pointing fingers

i have been avoiding writing a post.  i suppose because i feel like there is nothing dramatic going on.  no one has stopped breathing.  we aren't teetering between life and death.  we are doing the daily routines.  figuring out life.

and it is hard.  i know that a lot of you are silently saying, "i told you so!"  but i am ignoring you.  and i have many things to say to that sentiment but i need to be thinking a bit more clearly.

we knew it would be hard.  it is no surprise.  i have welcomed four children into our family and every time it is a big adjustment.  the fifth is no different.  for those people who say, "once you have three, another one is no big deal,"  well, i just don't think they have actually done it.  or they're lying.  because with every new child comes more work and more responsibility and less time and less energy.  and with every child there is more 'MOMMY!!!!  I NEED YOU!!!!' and less time to give to each call for attention.  it's a balancing act and it takes time to figure it all out.  but it's hard.

sarahjoy is a miracle, let's not forget that!  but she is also two.  and quite spoiled - given that she has had my undivided attention essentially since we first held her in china.  barring a few days of regular family life before surgery, she has been my primary focus.  and she is really not happy when she doesn't have me all to herself.  she does not like me doing anything that doesn't involve her being within 12 inches of me (including sleeping) and she certainly doesn't like me snuggling with her brothers and sisters!  she obviously doesn't speak english, and i don't know that she really speaks chinese either.  i think most of it is baby babble.  but she refuses to point or gesture and instead stands and whines.  a pointing finger would seriously be the best gift from st. patrick i could possibly imagine (if in fact ol' pat gave gifts.)  meanwhile, i get to play the game of figuring out what in the world she wants.  hungry, thirsty, a toy maybe?  does your incision hurt?  is there something else going on medically?or maybe your two year molars?  do you need something else i'm not thinking of?  or...do you just need me.  thankfully, my mother-in-law has been here and has been a LIFE SAVER.  but she leaves tuesday and i have this crazy life all to myself.  help!!!!!  how do i do a whiny two year old, four other kids, a husband, and a household?

so come tuesday, i may be a puddle on the floor.  and if you can't find me there, check the closets.  or the local chocolate shop.  i may have run away.  i'll come back, though.  cause i have to have a chat with all you i-told-you-so peeps.

almonds, cashews, pecans

on behalf of all the people who have said it before, either to our face or quietly discussing it when we're out of earshot (and there's a lot of you.)

WE ARE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!  

WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE WE THINKING!?!??!?!?!

i love that little girl, love her to bits, but she's is driving me nuts.  currently, we're going on hour 3 of trying to get her to sleep.  driving me nuts.

and that's about all i have to say today.  driving me nuts.