his part

about that huge God and him miraculously providing...

i was sitting on the sofa in a quiet house this morning. still in my pj's and minding my own business (aka watching price is right) while eric had the kids at the doctor for their tb screening (check that off the list!) the phone rang and i debated about whether to answer it. but i walked on over and said hello and was startled to hear a voice on the other end that i am sure has never called our house before. my first thought was that someone had died. when else does a random friend/acquaintance call you and say, "i wanted to call and tell you something."

no one died. but someone will be getting a better life in part because of that phone call! this wonderful friend went on to tell me that they had sent in $2000 to our adoption agency to help with our expenses.

$2000. that's a lot of money.

that's a nice vacation. a really cool TV. some great furniture. that's a whole lot of things i can think of and instead they gave it to us.

thank you.

that's about all that could come out of my mouth. i didn't know what else to say. we had prayed for God's provision of $2000 as that is the amount of money we have to give to the agency at this point in time. and here it was. God provided. in the most unusual of ways. from someone i would never have imagined. God's ideas are fabulous!

i found it interesting that our friend mentioned he had meant to give it in the summer but had put it off until the last minute. you know what? i'm so glad he did - because it allowed us the opportunity to pray for a specific request from God and see him answer it as specifically as we prayed for it. and that is a gift. it is those situations that prompt great leaps in our faith and i treasure every one i can get my hands on. this journey is taking every piece of faith i have!

and there is no doubt in my mind that the conversation i had with God last night about my target storage cube was perfect timing.

"you take care of your part and i'll take care of mine."

got it. i hear you loud and clear God. i'm taking care of my part and watching in wonder as you take care of yours.

happy new year! may 2010 be a year when we see God's faithfulness in new ways as he brings home our sweet sarahjoy. (so i really wanted her name to be sarahleigh, you know...ashLEIGH...but i thought that might be a bit much. we'll stick with sarahjoy!)

thanks for praying with us and walking this journey with us. i can't wait to see what happens next. as for the next prayer item, we are looking at another $2000 bill here in a couple of months. may God's provisions be bright and bold!!!

huge God

in honor of our new little one on the way, the blog will be getting a new look! i am SO excited. stay tuned!

***

we are deep in the middle of paperwork. i had forgotten how much there was! sort of like labor - if you ever remembered what it was really like, no one would ever have a second child. likewise in the adoption world. here's one for you - we have to reorder all of our birth certificates and marriage certificate so that they will have been certified within the last 6 months. because, of course, my birth has changed a lot within the past couple of years. and then there is the form that needs to be accompanied by a money order (errand #1), which requires cash from the bank (errand #2), then needs to be notarized (errand #3), followed by a trip to the post office to mail and track it (errand #4). one piece of paper. four errands. oh, and i forgot one. it all needs to be copied before being mailed (errand #5). exhibit A on why you will hear every adoptive family talk about the piles of paperwork. it is unbelievable.

***

so we are knee deep in paperwork and neck deep in leaning into God for his financial provisions. i hate to keep talking about it - i actually find great pride in how we have managed our finances throughout our married life. which is probably why it is so uncomfortable to talk about being in such a 'chaotic' state of affairs. so out of our control and what we would normally feel comfortable with. but we continue on. and God continues to say to me, "you do your part and i will do mine." which is hard. that's about all i have to say about that! hard stuff. i love watching God provide. when it affects me, not so much love going on. it is difficult. there are things i want, things that i could easily argue we need, but God is loudly and firmly saying to me that we are going to have to do without. don't worry, we aren't eating mac 'n cheese every night. and yet, that very idea is what makes it so difficult at times. what is the wisest thing to do with the money we do have? is everyone who follows our journey going to be watching how we spend every penny? are they going to formulate opinions when my kids have on their gap clothes (which i most certainly bought on bottom dollar clearance!) or when they see us going out to eat for new years eve (on a gift card, no doubt)? it is a funny place to be.

as i was laying in bed tonight i was thinking about this piece of furniture i really want. well, a $40 storage cube from target, if you can call that furniture. i REALLY want it. i am chomping at the bit to have some of the kids things in a more organized fashion - i have been talking about it for months and when we took down the christmas tree and rearranged there is a perfect spot for it in my den. i had plans to go get it tomorrow (it's on sale!). but as i lay there wondering how God is going to pull this adoption off, he brought to mind that purchase. and i know in my heart it isn't what he wants me to do. BUT I WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY. so... i don't think i am going. instead, i'm going to pray that God provides a way for us to organize without spending that money. or give me a peace to spend the money at some point. but those are the day to day fights i have within myself about money. is a $40 purchase going to provide for our adoption? no. but obedience to God will. and in this case, obedience means staying home with my wallet.

so that's where i stand. some days i am invigorated by the challenge. other days, i am exhausted with trying to obey (do my kids feel like that?) and then there are the days when i just want to do what i want to do and ask for forgiveness (they probably definitely feel like that!) i mean really, how bad can a $40 storage cube from target be?

***

in other news, our daughter has a new name! sarahjoy. we threw leah out with the trash even though i love, love, love the name and have always wanted a leah. but leah and lydia sounded way too much alike. and we can't have two L's. there is way too much organization in this house that is based on first initial (you think i am kidding, but i'm not) and we wanted a double name and couldn't figure out anything to go with leah. so there you go...sarahjoy it is. love it. can't wait to see what she looks like!

***

and finally, our sweet lydia, the brown sugar princess, is 4! i can hardly believe it. her birthday was december 28th and i spent the day laying in bed ready to cut my throat out of my body. a few doses of amoxicillan later, we are much better, and she is 4. we will be celebrating in january. january 22nd to be exact. which is a very special date for me and lyds. more on that later. suffice it to say that God has a way of joining hearts across the ocean.

and with that, i am resting in the knowledge that God is a HUGE God. able to join hearts across the ocean, able to provide miraculously.