anyone, anyone?

i have found myself becoming increasingly frustrated by others lately. i don't understand how there can be so many people who sit idly by and wait for someone else to get the work done. now i get that there are those who are gifted with organization or administration and that not everyone is cut out to be a 'leader' or make things happen; but seriously, can people not do something?

case in point...(which just typing it makes me incredibly annoyed)...micah played on a U4 soccer team this spring. normally, we would not have signed up a 3 year old for soccer but the little guy is constantly being left out of things the big kids get to do so it is nice for him to finally be able to do something of his own. granted, he only kicks the ball if it hits his foot, but nevertheless it is worth the $75 to give him a sense of belonging and identity. he is the text book case of the lost middle child (the subject of another post altogether).

anyway......eric was the coach to 7 little kids. 7 families. 14 people who could do something. at the beginning of the season, eric asked if someone would be willing to make up a snack rotation and send it out over email. nope, not a soul would do it. wouldn't even do it after the obligatory silence that comes before someone (usually) says, "okay, i'll do it." nope, nothing, nada. not one person would volunteer.

fast forward to the end of the year. no one offered, ever, to organize snacks. and generally there were about 3 children at practice, maybe 4 for games. not exactly the most committed team around. so we (the coach and his lovely wife) made the decision to forgo the standard trophies and party. mostly because i sure wasn't getting screwed ordering trophies and never getting paid for them. and i wasn't about to plan a party for a team who couldn't seem to show up for anything. and lord knows i wasn't going to get any help. so no party, no trophies. it's fine. they're three and four. give them something to look forward to.

"so, are we going to have a party or something?"

"if a parent would like to plan it, that would be wonderful."

silence. definitely no volunteer of the year award being offered.

last game of the season...
"so, i guess the kids aren't getting trophies or having a party?" the SAME parent said with hidden frustration. (enter the small detail that this family has one child. not that i'm judging. but one child is a lot less than four, or three, or two. one child. two parents.)

"well," i said with not-so-hidden annoyance, "based on the commitment level of the parents i don't think so."

end of conversation.

do you think it ever occurred to anyone to do anything other than sit on their rear ends? i don't get it. really, i don't. eric is supposed to run practice, run the games, organize the snack list, order trophies and plan a party? (and i forgot to mention that he coaches anna claire's team too) where are the rest of the parents?

it infuriates me. because i end up doing the work and picking up the pieces that no one else will pick up. and i am tired. i am maxxed out. i run a household of six, i do not need to run everything else in the world.

so what to do? eric will coach again in the fall. do you keep asking for a volunteer for snacks? do i make up a list (that would take all of 5 minutes) and hand it out and once again take charge? do i plan the parties and order the trophies? if it was only confined to U4 soccer, i know the answer. no, i am not doing it. they can live without trophies, a party, or a snack.

but it's an epidemic.

i am continually at the helm because no one else will step up. i took care of trophies for ac's team. i set up for the party. (i do have to say that someone else helped organize once i came up with the plan.) i am planning the class party. i am collecting money for a teacher's gift. i am heading up the preschool ministry. i am leading meetings. i am directing vbs. i am leading more meetings. i am so done with being in charge.

my management capacities are full. a household of six is maxxing me out and all of the peripheral tasks are just about to sink me. i don't even have time for my own friends. which of course catapults me back to the thought of adding one more, and before even adding her, just getting the reams of paperwork completed. that is a part-time job in itself.

i remember hearing a mother of four say a few years back (when i didn't have four) that she had no time for relationships outside her family. she was too busy trying to build relationships with her husband and her kids. i filed that in my head and have never forgotten it. i'm almost there. we are talking serious sacrifice when being a mom and wife actually takes up all of your time and there is nothing else.

i want to be there. i don't want to be there. it is a fight within me to figure out what to do, how to balance.

teter toter. teter toter.