sweetness

home is surely sweet.

we are all back as a family.  sarahjoy has now spent almost equal time with us in china, at our home, and in the hospital.  so needless to say, she is still getting adjusted.  poor kid doesn't know where she belongs.  but she does know who loves her.  and her little smile is bright and beautiful these days in my arms.  i even got a few giggles today.  

she is doing great.  i have to admit it is a bit unnerving having her home and knowing that it is my responsibility to tell if something is wrong.  last night she slept with me and i spent most of the night listening to her breathing.  when it was loud, i wondered if i should call the doctor.  when it was quiet, i worried she was gone.  i didn't get much sleep.  it's her heart for crying out loud!  talk about stressful.

we will see the pediatrician tomorrow to check on her pneumonia.  hopefully that's all that will happen.  i am still so nervous about something going wrong and us ending back in the hospital.  we see the cardiologist on monday and the surgeon the following week.  i will be thankful when we get the all clear from the three of them.  or at least i am hoping we get some sort of all clear or else i am going to need some blood pressure meds.  although, we've maxed out our insurance deductible for sarahjoy for this whole year already, so i say bring on the doctors and all their expensive tests - they're free! : )

life will get back to normal.  right?  at least our new normal.  i am anxious for that to come.  i feel so out of sorts.  with the holidays coming right before we left for china i feel like i haven't really been in a good routine since the fall.  because of us 'sequestering' sarahjoy prior to her surgery, i haven't even been to church since christmas eve i don't think.  even this introvert is ready to see some of the outside world!  trying to take one day at a time knowing that one plus one equals two and then four and then maybe a new normal.

thank you so much for your continued support.  we are incredibly blessed.