tomorrow is another day

i guess i could say that i love the month before christmas, and the day after christmas. today was a day of refocusing on what matters and realizing that we are really blessed to be the family that we are. to have what we have. and to experience all that we experience.

the kids spent all day playing with their gifts. it was a sweet sight given my emotion of last night. eric asked them at the table this morning what their favorite part of christmas was and they all answered................playing with their cousins. not even a mention about presents. interesting, given my frustrations of yesterday. maybe i should take a cue from the kids and realize that there is much more to christmas than gifts under the tree.

being one day removed, i again am of the mindset that i would give anything to bring home another little girl. even if it means small christmases and a few less things in our closets. of course i want leah-joy more than i want those things.

i am embarrassed that i get caught up in the culture of things. but i would be lying if i didn't admit that i enjoy them. i like to dress stylish, i love a nice home, i enjoy my kids looking cute. i know those aren't the most important things in life, but they are values to me. and i don't think that is bad. it is when those things take a hold of my heart to the point that i can't see the bigger picture that they move from values to idols.

and so a new year is on the horizon. so far, i have three things i would like to change.

1)a new commitment to fiscal frugality. if we are going to adopt another little girl we have to begin now to live as if there was a 5th child in the picture. and save what we can for the impending adoption expenses. we have to buckle our belts a little tighter and it will require some sacrifices.

2)a commitment to writing down things that i would like to get as gifts. i think this would go a long way to helping maximize the joy of birthdays and holidays if i can do my part to help eric buy me gifts. we are both so stinking practical we tend to just pick out our own gifts and the fun of gift-giving is lost (or return things...and we know how i feel about that! see last post.) this year, i want to give him a specific list and he can go shopping! what fun to have a surprise (go figure)! even more fun when #1 is in effect and our disposable income is less than it has been being. when that's the case, the holidays and birthdays become a lot more significant - at least in the gift-giving arena.

3)a commitment to losing some weight. okay, i know this is a cheesy, everyone-says-it new year's resolution. and i know i am not in an extreme situation in this category. but it bothers me that i have put on so much weight this year. i would like to blame it on the medication i have been taking since last december but i don't think that's the whole picture. it BOTHERS me. i wake up thinking about it, i go to bed thinking about it. it needs to change.

if i can make those 3 happen, i will be a better person. but i know its not just me that has to make it happen. well, maybe the gift thing is just me. but the other two are matters of self-control, which i have to remind myself is a fruit of the spirit. it is a God-given character trait which means its me and God doing the work to make it happen. which would mean it might be helpful to talk to him a bit more often. hmmm...maybe i have four things to work on.